Discover more from The Turtle Diaries
Ranking QAnon and MAGA Conferences (2021 Edition)
Starting with Last Place: Women for America First
A large part of my time undercover was spent traveling to various QAnon or MAGA conferences. I decided to rank some of them (a few of the conferences I went to can’t be included, because I never showed up to the main event itself, just the side stuff going on). I started this off with the intention of making a listicle, but these events were so terrible I’m doing individual entries.
Anyway, starting off with the worst!
Organizer: Women for America First
Event: Save America Summit
Cost of Admission: $1,000 ($500 General Admission ticket plus a $500 ticket to a Matt Gaetz dinner. I also paid $500 for a Marjorie Taylor Greene dinner, but was refunded)
Location: Trump Doral - Miami, Florida
Date: April 2021
Hosted by Stop the Steal organizers Kylie and Amy Kremer (the latter notable for getting locked in her hotel bathroom after the January 6 riot), every moment of the Save America Summit was a disaster.
Like most events I attended, it was hundreds of dollars to get in the door. You could buy an all inclusive VIP ticket for $2,000-$5,000, or a $500 main ticket that required purchasing separate tickets to official dinner parties. I went with the GA option (thankfully), and purchased two add on dinners at $500 each: one billed as “BBQ, Boots & Bluegrass with Keynote Speaker Congressman Matt Gaetz” and the other a “Dr. Seuss Low Country Boil – One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” with Marjorie Taylor Greene (you may recall that in April 2021, conservatives were absolutely furious by the Seuss estate’s decision to remove six books no one had ever heard of before from print).
When I showed up to Trump Doral on the first day, there were no signs in the lobby indicating the event was taking place. Since day one was just an evening reception, I figured it was a small oversight (it was actually an indicator of piss poor planning by the grifting Kremer family). Still, no sign could have prepared me for what would greet me at the evening reception: an absolutely batty artist who insisted that “everyone in Manhattan pisses on the American flag” while painting the background on this masterful piece of art:
Amy and Kylie are a mother-daughter duo, and Mother Amy is clearly the brains behind the organization. Unfortunately, she hurt her ankle during the event, leaving Kylie in charge. Rand Paul was a speaker, and at one point, he was waiting at the airport for someone to come pick him up. Unable to pick up the slack in her mother’s absence, Kylie could be found joking around and eating candy in the speaker’s room, oblivious to any responsibilities she had to the people who had paid thousands of dollars to attend her event (or to her big name speakers).
Kylie was also kind of mean. Considering every person there had paid at least $500, you’d think she could have been nice to people. But no! I watched her call $5,000 ticket holders by the wrong name — unapologetically! One evening when everyone was hanging out in the bar, she showed up and interrupted the conversation, trying to get a big donor move to another table with her (he did not). Zero people skills. Incredibly awkward. Definitely needs mom.
Oh, and at one point, Jack Posobiec showed up and the women I spent the week with started fawning all over him, letting him know they felt bad he had a son because nothing is harder than being a white man in America.
BBQ, Boots & Bluegrass with Keynote Speaker Congressman Matt Gaetz
This dinner was Matt Gaetz’s first public appearance after allegations came out that he had been trafficking minors across state lines. Though I had paid $500 for the privilege of hearing the speech, the event was open to the press and the speech was given in a courtyard directly below a balcony that was also open to the public. Gaetz yelled into the microphone about his innocence and the Antifa agenda against him for roughly 15 minutes before promptly leaving the entire property. I essentially spent $500 to drink 2 free glasses of wine while listening to a speech I could have heard for free, with NO access to Gaetz himself. Great planning, Amy!!!
The Turtle Diaries is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Dr. Seuss Low Country Boil – One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish with Marjorie Taylor Greene
MTG’s father ended up passing away the weekend of this event, so she was unable to come. However, I bought my ticket when I was already on site, and I am positive that the Kremers knew MTG would be a no show by the time I purchased my ticket (regardless, I won the chargeback over this). Since this dinner took place after the Gaetz fiasco, I was already angry and suspicious about the Kremer’s grifting, and I was right. They offered us Vernon Jones as a replacement, as though he was half as interesting or important as MTG. What did Vernon bring to the table? Well, he told us he wasn’t announcing if he was running for governor. Ok, great, glad I spent $500 to hear that non-announcement while sitting at a table filled to the brim with some shitty Dr Seuss Party City decorations meant for a five year old’s birthday!!!!
Each ticket tier promised a swag bag. LIES! As far as I know, the only people who got “swag bags” were the ones who had paid $5,000 a ticket. For their swag, they got this $7 bottle of wine. lol. lmao, even.
The Save America Summit was the biggest grift I have ever seen. I spent my time with a group of people who had all paid for the $2,000-$5,000 tickets (they even pulled me into the “VIP seating” which was just a table 10 feet in front of the regular seating). Every single person I met talked shit about Kylie Kremer as a person, and talked shit about the event itself. Since Kylie was so useless, some slack and grace were given to Amy, but people were fucking furious about the $7 bottle of Cupcake wine as a VIP gift. If you are given the chance to attend one of these events for free, however, I would consider going to the daily after parties (we were out until 3 or 4 am every night), just for the hot gossip.
After this event was over, there was a fucking storm and I got stranded in Miami. I had to stay at an airport hotel overrun with screaming children who had food fights on the elevator, and I wasn’t even near the beach. Thanks a lot, Kylie Kremer!!!!!